"Funny how we entrust our hearts into the hands of so many who are not qualified to hold them and wonder why they drop them. Meanwhile, the One who has promised to keep our hearts safe, rarely gets the time of day until someone else has broken what we should have given to Him in the first place."
....that's from the book "If singleness is a gift, what's the return policy?" it struck me!
It's a good practice that I do notes of books I've read coz whenever I'm down, I re-read all my notes hoping I'll get something to help me process my thoughts. And for this night that very line spoke to me like a friend going through my pain. I'm broken.....again!
I should let my heart to trust God fully, that He will bring to me the right one in the right time. I should again learn to "wait on the Lord." My impatient self should not get in the way. God doesn't need my help, I just have to have faith. The faith that says even though I cannot see him yet, he is there...doing his task of finding me...his lovely wife. I should go back to that point, where I undoubtedly believe that God is soveriegn even into this matters. It's no longer a question of whether I will marry but whom I will marry, coz if I have this desire to marry for sure it comes from Him. And as Merc once told me God is not cruel, He will not give the desire if He will not fulfill it.
It's amazing that my notes has an answer also to my insecurities that usually comes out whenever you're broken. "I don't think we have to manipulate anything about ourselves to catch the attention of the man God has for us. God Himself will place something is us that is bait for that man. There will be something about me in his eyes that draws him to me, muttering his breath "bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh."
And as for the wrong ones that came and will still come, I would just allow God to gently remove them from my life.
Meanwhile, I choose to develop again...a relationship with my Spiritual husband. He waits patiently for me...loving me. I will rejoice in the fact that God's prevention is His ultimate protection of my heart and purpose to wait for nothing less than the best for me. I will rest in the thought that if a man is good for me, he will be mine; but if he is not, he will be removed. What I perceived to be good for me may not always be good to me! So I let God do the choosing and the eliminating.
And while He is doing that, I'll enjoy LIFE, the life that He gives and He gives abundantly! I will take as many bites out of life as I could. I'll enjoy the scenery of life. Look at all God has made available to me and revel in it. I will let the Lord shower me with His unconditional love. For sure, He makes it well worth the wait until my natural husband arrives in the flesh!
Ako, 3 June 2012
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