....for death is the destiny of every man.... Ecclesiastes 7:2
I'm missing my sister Ayet....alone in my hotel room while away from home, coz I'm on trip. Something hit me....somewhere deep within....now I can't stop crying! It's still there, deep down....that feeling of lost =( of not being the same person again.
My sister, the youngest. My better look-alike, coz everybody says that she look like me, though I must admit she's prettier. She died a decade ago, that long already....but I don't know why the sorrow is so fresh as if it just happened yesterday. I don't know why every time I remember her I can't help but cry. I thought since it's been a decade and I've already moved on, remembering her then would not be as hard as I remember her now. But I was wrong! Perhaps the reason is that I haven't fully accepted that fact no matter how long it was already. Perhaps I'm still wishing she's still here. Wondering what she could have been. I guess that's the way it is, when someone you love died, you also die with them....if not all of you, part of you goes with them....making you incomplete or not the same again. No matter how you've lived normally after losing them, somehow, sometime, somewhere within you'll feel the emptiness...that portion that you want to be with them but cannot =( Miss you much So (we fondly call her So, short for Bunso).
Ako
1 July 2009
I'm missing my sister Ayet....alone in my hotel room while away from home, coz I'm on trip. Something hit me....somewhere deep within....now I can't stop crying! It's still there, deep down....that feeling of lost =( of not being the same person again.
My sister, the youngest. My better look-alike, coz everybody says that she look like me, though I must admit she's prettier. She died a decade ago, that long already....but I don't know why the sorrow is so fresh as if it just happened yesterday. I don't know why every time I remember her I can't help but cry. I thought since it's been a decade and I've already moved on, remembering her then would not be as hard as I remember her now. But I was wrong! Perhaps the reason is that I haven't fully accepted that fact no matter how long it was already. Perhaps I'm still wishing she's still here. Wondering what she could have been. I guess that's the way it is, when someone you love died, you also die with them....if not all of you, part of you goes with them....making you incomplete or not the same again. No matter how you've lived normally after losing them, somehow, sometime, somewhere within you'll feel the emptiness...that portion that you want to be with them but cannot =( Miss you much So (we fondly call her So, short for Bunso).
Ako
1 July 2009
4 comments:
i can oh so relate... i still feel the same for my father... i guess we move on with our lives but the space they leave behind will be forever vacant and empty and it's not that we haven't moved on, it's just that the love and longing for them is still strong... and will be forever be there.
yan..yan exactly....space they leave behind =( =)
it will always feel different, may kulang.. but then again you will have to live with that.. ganyan talaga ang buhay minsan.. but i think more time changes a lot of things, lyk the way we feel..wink wink ;p
napa-text si Pogs dahil sa entry na ito:
I'm continuing a blog article that I've started....It is about our happy Malate-Makati trip...but then I've read your article "Missing someone so dear", nalungkot ako. I felt your pain. Now looking at what I've written after reading your article, I must say, mahirap palang magsulat pag malungkot ka...it shows in what I've written...just sharing my thoughts to you...Don't want to make you feel sad again. Just want you to know na pag ikaw naman ang nalulungkot...pwede mo din akong sandalan, Good night Ate Mary =)
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