My sweet date

I told him to meet me in Ilocos....

I was so looking forward to this trip coz I asked  him to meet me.

Prior to this trip, I'm so sad....a lot of events are happening and it seems I'm moving through life in AUTO mode. I'm busy with work that I focused solely on that, but I'm also too bored with what I'm working on. I let other people run my social schedules. I just go with the flow. There were also something that made me want to be out of this world. It  hurt me so much that I'm so numb already and don't know how to react or what to feel. There's a voice that was telling me "kawawa ka" and for the longest time that that voice bugged me....I listened, finally, one dinner I was crying. The dinner prior to this trip. I pitied myself. I felt tired of appearing strong, composed, collected when inside I'm already broken. I felt tired of being responsible. I felt tired of facing the battle within...with myself! 

And I saw this trip as a way of escape. And so I told him to meet me there. I want a new environment, away from it all. I just want to run away. And so I went.....

It was my second day in Fort Ilocandia. Since AiL is working, I planned to go around the hotel and shoot. After breakfast, I took a bath, dressed up, prepared my to bring for my date. One book, my bible, MP3 player, cellphone and my camera (not mine pala). I'm excited for this day, though I didn't expect much. And so it happened.....

I pass by a beautiful garden, greeted by all the resort staff who I met along the way to the meeting place. Even the guard greeted me as I entered the place that the sign says "Blue lagoon area." The place was set-up so well, very clean shore, clean beach...I looked around and when I saw the center hut I knew that's the one prepared for me. I went there, set-up my things from my bag, played music, turn off my camera and then our song.....

"Draw me close to you" I closed my eyes to meet my date....

I specifically love the line "help me know you are near"...then the waves answered as if it wants to embrace me. The stillness of that moment made his presence amazingly felt. He met me! He was there! I was crying before him...at first it was a cry for the hurts that I'm feeling, then, continuously crying until the hurts washed out and the tears of joy for his amazing love replaced the tears for hurts. He enveloped me with his mighty presence. He let me do the talking, I told him all that I'm feeling, all the thoughts even those that is not true but was there and I felt it. He calm me down and then when I'm ready to listen, he spoke....through Isaiah 1, it's about a rebellious Nation but God was calling them for repentance. I saw myself in that state, he cared for me but I still feel abandoned by him. This date with him is my reassurance that still, he is there...I just need to come back. I just need to rest in his lap. It was a fine day, he let me rest. I felt so loved...then I told him..I'm in deed your spoiled princess. He replied with a kiss through the wind of the noon day....

Ako, 12 July 2012