I had these questions awhile ago: Where would a counselor go if he needs counseling? Who would give care to a care giver? Where would somebody who always understands go for understanding in times that he needs it? If you are depended upon and you give in, who would be hurting the most? The one who depended on you or you who put them down? How would you look upon a happy person crying? Hayyyyyyyyyyy!
I was on the depended upon and let a friend down =(. It sure hurt me if not more ,then equal the pain my friend felt!!! More than the fact that I let a friend down it’s more of a question of integrity. Me telling him what and how and answering his whys about life and then suddenly I’m against him =(. I just hope that’s not what he felt for that’s not it. Though I had good intentions and my reason is valid, when I saw him crying, so down with what I did, I was like guilty to the maximum. I even joked to myself “andaya, I should be the one na inaamo coz I’m the first to make tampo, moment ko ‘to dapat!” but I guess ganun talaga and I know more yung love for the friend than whether I have a point or who’s the priority. And I guess that’s just about it, I am also human and at times even if I am depended upon I also need to depend on somebody. Everybody has a fair share in life’s ups and downs. The me that is always happy and stable can come to a point of breaking down, slipping away. I also have unguarded moments no matter how careful I am in most times, may sablay moments din. I guess also we’ve come to a point in our friendship that I know I can be transparent and I’ll still be accepted even if it’s the weak side of me I showed.
There really is no easy way to break somebody’s heart, even if you mean well and even if it’s out of your love for him. Oh well! I am forgiven (and I am deeply sorry) and I hope things between us will not change or if it will it will deepen the friendship. Now I’m writing this for I want to forgive myself also (the guilt feeling not the transparency)….I felt sorry for my showing the real me and somehow misunderstood (or not comforted as I thought). But I’ll be fine…..
Ako, 6 February 2009
I was on the depended upon and let a friend down =(. It sure hurt me if not more ,then equal the pain my friend felt!!! More than the fact that I let a friend down it’s more of a question of integrity. Me telling him what and how and answering his whys about life and then suddenly I’m against him =(. I just hope that’s not what he felt for that’s not it. Though I had good intentions and my reason is valid, when I saw him crying, so down with what I did, I was like guilty to the maximum. I even joked to myself “andaya, I should be the one na inaamo coz I’m the first to make tampo, moment ko ‘to dapat!” but I guess ganun talaga and I know more yung love for the friend than whether I have a point or who’s the priority. And I guess that’s just about it, I am also human and at times even if I am depended upon I also need to depend on somebody. Everybody has a fair share in life’s ups and downs. The me that is always happy and stable can come to a point of breaking down, slipping away. I also have unguarded moments no matter how careful I am in most times, may sablay moments din. I guess also we’ve come to a point in our friendship that I know I can be transparent and I’ll still be accepted even if it’s the weak side of me I showed.
There really is no easy way to break somebody’s heart, even if you mean well and even if it’s out of your love for him. Oh well! I am forgiven (and I am deeply sorry) and I hope things between us will not change or if it will it will deepen the friendship. Now I’m writing this for I want to forgive myself also (the guilt feeling not the transparency)….I felt sorry for my showing the real me and somehow misunderstood (or not comforted as I thought). But I’ll be fine…..
Ako, 6 February 2009
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