Company

“A place is only as good as the people you know in it.” ~ I Am Number Four

"It could have been more fun and memorable if you were there" ~ Omar to Tonette

True, most of the time it’s the people you’re with that makes a place or something memorable….And most often than not, we don't care if we're doing the same thing over and over and over so long as we are in the right company. A task is as important as how the person is important to you.

I am a very friendly person, I initiate talks to strangers, I readily have a huge smile for kakilala even for not kakilala nga eh. I am most of the time takbuhan for encouragement or just somebody to talk to. It's  a joy for me to reach out to people. I think I put premium in relationships. But believe it or not, namimili ako ng kasama....I have actually very few people that I am comfortable being with, lalo na yung one-on-one moments....At lalo akong namimili ng mga taong I can be very open, yan, lalong mas kaunti yan. Kaya naman, like ko ang quote na 'to "If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company"....kasi ako I enjoy myself too much, ako lang kasi ang nakakaunawa sakin.  Nung naging Miss Congeniality ako, na-miss ko na ang maging alone. The downside of having friends is when everyone else is not around and you're already used to having company, you feel alone....and sometimes it's lonely.

"Promise yourself to be strong that nothing can disturb your inner peace of mind"  sabi yan dun sa notebook na bigay ni Buddy ko....somehow, it's an encouragement.....when there's no one to pat your back and lift your spirit...God find ways to let me know He's there.

It's been a week of pulling myself to stay up and be positive. I have no one to talk to, so I'm processing things (thoughts and emotions) with me, by me, of me =P. But, somehow I'm starting to be good at this...talking to myself! I believe it's a maturity process, to be able to learn to understand yourself. I'm processing my feelings, why I'm sad, mad, jealous, feeling defeated...and when like us pipz, emotions also loves company..whenever you feel sad...unti-unti mag-i-invite pa yan ng iba pang bad feelings....hanggang sa andami na nila and you're overpowered by them. Barkada ba naman...so you really have to step up to them...teka teka muna..bakit ba ako nalungkot....is it because hindi belib sakin? o baka naman I'm just self-centered...baka I just need to understand...why am I jealous? is it because may mali sakin or takot lang maiwan? Why am I mad? Why I'm like this? How to react? Should I just let go? Is it about pride? Should I fight for it? Are they stepping on me already? Is it time to make a stand? 

I know I'm not afraid to confront people or a particular situation if I need to..I'm not also the one who will just keep silent if I want to make a point or if I know I'm right or basta I can always express myself.  Madalas nga lang I just let go, lalo na yung hindi kailangang pagbuhusan ng energy...I choose my battle ika nga. Although minsan din, if alam kong hindi naman ako mananalo sa argument, hindi na lang ako magsisimula. And if it's just about me...most of the time I'll just step back and think...process until lumipas na. Kaso lately, I think I'm in the process of learning to really stand up for ME! Napapagod ako =(! I just wish I have someone to deal it with me =). Someone I can unload to, hindi naman necessarily intindihin ako...somebody just like me to a friend, not to give solution or agree with me...but just make me go through things. Ba't kasi ang hirap kong makahanap ng ganun....yun kasing mga nahanap ko na eh either malalayo na sila now or may mas level up na concerns.....yan..blog ko, load muna ako dito ha! Kailangan ko lang talaga! Ambigat na!

Ako, 11 July 2013